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Family & Relationships / 6 hours ago

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Sanity or no sanity?

I am currently unemployed, live with my sister, and am her primary caregiver. She is terminally ill from ovarian cancer. My focus is taking care of her. She is at the point she needs someone to be in the same room with her at all times.

I live here along with her husband and son who is 36 years old. Neither one of them do anything around the house to help. I do it because if I don't my sister will attempt to do it even though she can't stand for more than 5 minutes. I have talked with both of them expressing my need for help. It works for a couple days. I try to leave the house at least once a week sometimes two. There are weeks that I don't leave the house at all because my brother-in-law won't sit with her or just leaves the house. I'm beginning to go insane.

Here is my question. Am I being selfish in wanting to leave here every day and let my brother-in-law figure out what to do during the day? I would come back at night to take care of her since that is the time she really wants me here.

I hope all this makes sense.
Doxie

- Asked by doxie777, Female, 36-45, Portland, Administrative

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Family & Relationships / 7 hours ago

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Do you think you did a better job parenting the second time around?

You always hear that the first one is the practice baby that you make all the mistakes with. Is that true? Do you think you did a better job the second time around?

- Asked by dalaimama, Female, 29-35

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Family & Relationships / 7 hours ago

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Repair or replace????

So my son killed his laptop (hard drive)....It's 18 months old, originally $1000(he purchased it himself). I can't figure out if I should repair it at a cost of between $200-$300. Or just buy a new one for about $500-600. Or another option is to get him a notebook instead but I've heard good and bad things about those. So my AO friends help me out. What's your opinion? He uses the computer for school work and of course for facebook, playing games and downloading music.

Update: November 20, 2009.
Actually your responses made me think. He does need a laptop for school. Blue is right even though he spent his own money on it he is probably not as careful as an adult would be. I may just give him my laptop and get myself a new one. Money is a little tight right now so I was considering getting him it for christmas but don't think he would appreciate me wrapping up my old laptop and saying merry christmas. LOL. Thanks guys!!

- Asked by youngfuddyduddy, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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Family & Relationships / 8 hours ago

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Is the mother really saying she doesnt want her daughter near again?

After a couple of years of a bad relationship, almost none, a mother and a daughter decide to "celebrate" Christmas and the daughter s birthday together.

For the birthday, the mother cooks the only dish she knows her daughter doesnt like nor eats. For Christmas, the mother buys a 79 cent last minute gift bought at the corner shop.

Is the mother really saying she doesnt want her daughter there?

- Asked by sailormoon, Female, 36-45, Other Profession

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Family & Relationships / 15 hours ago

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Does anybody besides me feel a little down around the holidays?

I used to love Thanksgiving, but now find it a bit depressing. Most of the older members of my family have passed on, and their children (my cousins, nieces and nephews) don't think of inviting me to join them, even though they know I am usually home alone that day unless a friend invites me to their home. I also have been dreading Christmas because everyone expects a gift and I just don't have the money. Plus it has become so commercial and not about the birth of Christ at all. Anyone else going through something similar?

- Asked by Female, 46-55

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Family & Relationships / 18 hours ago

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The Swine Flu Vaccination

Yesterday my daughter's school sent a slip to sign if I want her to be vaccinated against the swine flu. They also provided info about its side effects. They're terrifying! Besides, it's a relatively new vaccine and I've heard about some death cases after the shots. Please, note that more than few people contracted the flu here in Turkey and 3-4 out of whom died. So my question is, did you have your child vaccinated?
P.S. My daughter has a very strong immune system, but I can't decide.

- Asked by chichek, Female, 29-35, Other Profession

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Family & Relationships / 19 hours ago

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Anyone live around Clearwater, FL?

My Husband and I might be relocating to Clearwater Fl.. Could anyone give me any advice as to what the area is like? He will be working at the St. Peterburg/ Clearwater Airport. I would like to buy a house in the area, have any suggestions on where to live?

Thanks a bunch

- Asked by Female, 29-35

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Family & Relationships / 21 hours ago

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Childhood memories - How much do they remember?

My 9 yr old son. Whom I've never gotten to stay in his room an entire night. A little background, his father and I are divorece, have been for several years. Anyhow, durning the divorce and after, the kids counselor told me that my son, wanted to stay in my room because he was afraid that I'd leave like his father did.
Well, almost a year later, the father started using his visitation.
To make a long story short: Tonight, I asked my son if he knew, what tough love was.. He said No. I told him, it ment that he needed to sleep in his room, no matter how much he cryed or how upset either of us got.
He replied that he was scared to sleep in his room. That he did not have a normal childhood, that his father make him watch CSI, when he was 5. And than my son quoted the Bible saying that children's hearts should be pure.
He has two older sister's that stay in thier bedrooms and would be on the same side of the house as him.
What brought all this up again, is that he's stayed at a friend home this past weekend - he explains that by saying that he just stays awake until he passes out. Indeed he did come home and take a long nap and sleep that evening. (in my room, of course)
Then we talked about going back to the counselor - he sorta agreed. I told him, I didn't know, how to help him and she knew more about helping him with his fear.
DO YOU THINK, him watching those show at young age could still be affecting him?
I do remember, telling my attorney about the kids sitting in the back seat of the car talking about a dumpster and dead bodies. At the time, it concerned me, but that was it. I personaly do not watch horror morvies, ect..
Granted my son, is an "A" student in the fourth grade and reads at an 8th grade level.
I don't know, why this came out now.. Maybe cause of the threat of tough love and I've been sorta after him all week about staying in his own room. We've tryed several things in the past, but I always went back to what the counselor said - and gave it. I KNOW.. I KNOW... MY BAD!!

Any suggestions - go back to the couselor or not?

And as for his father, the end of Jan it'll been a year, sense he's used his visitation...

- Asked by Female, 29-35

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Family & Relationships / 22 hours ago

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I'm having a hard time forgiving my brother

Our mother recently passed away and I discovered that a few months before she died, my brother had her sign away the majority of her estate to him. I have seen a lawyer. Since she did it during her life -- it is considered a gift. I could go to court, but it would be very expensive with little chance of success. She had brain cancer and I'm sure she did not know what she was signing. But, there is that glimmer of doubt there also. I have always been good to everyone in my family and have a clear conscience. This came as a complete shock to me and I'm extremely hurt. It has destroyed any relationship with my brother for good. My mother always said that everything would be split 50/50 and she had organized her estate for that to happen. Anyway, it is not only him cheating me out of $100,000 or so, but I found out that he sold his house a month ago and divided our mother's things without telling me or letting me help. Friends tell me to let it go -- to forgive him, but I'm having a hard time with that. I never saw this coming -- he and I always had a good relationship until my mom got sick. Forgive him? Or do you have a suggestion for some other form of revenge?

- Asked by Female, 46-55, Los Angeles, Executive

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