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Complicated relationship with my nephew
Family & Relationships / 2:53 PM - Thursday January 02, 2014

Complicated relationship with my nephew

My nephew really hurt my feelings. He came to Indiana last weekend to visit family. He spend times with my mom, sister, her 3 children, and his dad. He never bothered to called me or come to visit me. His pregnant girlfriend put on Facebook last Thursday that they were in Indiana. I ask her if I will get a visit from them before they leave to go back home in Ohio. I told them that I had a free availability from work on the weekend and see if we can go to lunch together at a restaurant. I was willing to pay for the foods. I never got a response back. I and his dad live in the same city about 25 miles from my mom. He came to see his dad the next day. He asked me how do I know he came. I said that his stepmom put it on Facebook. He didn't say another word to me. I wrote my nephew a long email and told him that he would made that attempt to come and see me if I was very important to him like other family members are. He told me that I could came and see him at my mom's house. I stand up for myself and told him that he had that free times to see me when he came to town to see his dad. I am done trying to have a better relationship with my nephew. I am not going do it alone 100%. I am going to keep enjoying my life and I will not drive to another town to my mom to see my nephew when he is visiting from Ohio.

Am I doing the right thing to let go and not waste time to make this family relationship right with my nephew?

Why do my nephew treated me like this knowing that I would like to spend times with him and his girlfriend sometimes?




- Asked by missy74, Female, 36-45, Indianapolis, Other Profession

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I dont have nephews and nieces, my sister is childless, but if I did have them, they would be ignored until they are nice to me and they would need to know who is older and more important in the order in the family. I treated my own kids like that. They had to shape up or ship out. I never said that to them, but they always respected me because I earned my respect. You shouldnt have to message anyone to ask if you can see them, if they want to see you they will message you. So just stop doing that and see what happens next time.

- Response by ana325, Female, 56-65, Other Profession

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During the holidays, time is tight and it is difficult to visit with every one. It would have been to your advantage to meet up with him while he was also visiting other family members.

I think your 'demand' for him to make a special separate time to have a meal in a restaurant with you was inappropriate.

- Response by utahmom, Female, 56-65, Managerial

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I cant blame you for feeling this way I sure understand my family don't even call me during the holidays not even if its not the holidays but I don't worry about it because I have friends that care and that's all that manners to me.

- Response by pawsbuddy04, Female, 46-55

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My nephews, even 'tho I always remembered them on Christmas, birthdays, graduations, etc. have done me the same way. I never hear from them by phone, e-mail, Facebook, etc. and when they are in my city, they don't bother to call or come visit me. A few years ago my husband and I traveled thousands of miles to go see them, and they practically ignored us. I've come to the conclusion that they don't want a relationship with me, so I have stopped pursuing one. That includes no longer sending them gifts, money, etc. It was not an easy decision, but I feel it was the right one in this case.

- Response by experience101, Female, 56-65, Who Cares?

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I agree with utahmom. I understand your feelings are hurt but as I have family that come in from out of State I know if I want to see them I have to find out where they will be during their stay if I want to see them. It's more convenient for you than it is for them on their limited time frame and ordeal of traveling that far. I think you are being a bit sensitive over it when if you wanted to see them badly enough you could have but instead choose to have your ego bruised about it.

- Response by Female, 29-35

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Seems like you could have just as easily gone to see him when he was at your mom's. It almost comes across as if you are testing him to see what hoops he will jump through for you. He has a wife and child on the way. He does not need some attention starved woman demanding him to show up when she wants him to. You really do come off a bit off by acting like he has to work every thing around you and you can't even make and effort to go to your mothers to see him. He could just as easily see it that way.

- Response by juandontbeg, A Career Man, Male, 36-45, Self-Employed

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Unless there is bad blood you didn't tell us about he is just being a schmuck or he feels like he needs to be there 24/7 for his gal.

- Response by slappynutz, A Couch Potato, Male, 66 or older, Minneapolis

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