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Active Questions

How long does it take you to get over a long term relationship?
Dating / 9:23 AM - Tuesday July 09, 2013

How long does it take you to get over a long term relationship?

How long has it taken you to get over a long term relationship? Does it change the type of person you would seek the next time?

- Asked by lasuz, Female, Who Cares?, Los Angeles, Retired

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Wow, I've never seen such insightful answers to this. Especially nico76 - so right - sometimes the several-month relationships that are not quite yet over the honeymoon phase are the hardest to get over - you still are SO into the person, and you've spent just enough time with the person to really fall in love, but not enough time to see the deep, dark sides that would be a deal breaker.

- Response by over40dating, Female, 46-55

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In only one particular case was it long and difficult to admit that somehow I was unsuccessful in maintaining an LT relationship. The lesson learned? One cannot control others, cannot manipulate feelings in others and cannot lose sight of the fact that one does not possess another person. It was years ago, but a terrific lesson in sociology and psychology which I have not forgotten over fifty years later.

- Response by rekkonball, A Guy Critical, Male, 66 or older, Retired

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I would takeoff 6 months to a year.

I like the idea of not getting involved quickly because I would feel needy if I did.

I think during that 6 months I would take a good look at me before, during and now. And then decide where I wanted to be tomorrow.

And start working towards that.

|| DK ||

- Response by ddkk, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 36-45, Philadelphia, Political / Government

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It's been awhile since I've been in a long term one. Maybe because it took me a long time to get over it. It's not so much that I had to get over him. Things had fizzled out before we officially broke up. He's happy with someone else now, and I'm happy for him. I think it was more a matter of needing to reflect on what went wrong...why we chose each other in the first place, when it was clearly not a good fit...why we stayed together as long as we did...and what I should be doing differently. There were certain qualities about him that I really liked, and others that I discovered will never work for me. Since then, I've tried to view every guy I've met or dated as an individual, rather than comparing him to my ex. But I think I have a better idea than before of what works or doesn't work for me. It's still an ongoing learning process though.

- Response by uniquelyme2, Female, 46-55, Artist / Musician / Writer

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It took me about 5 months to get over and get past my last girlfriend.

It hasn't changed the overall type of woman that I'm looking for now, but it definitely helped me to be more aware of areas in which she and I will need to be better matched.

- Response by hopefulromantic47, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 29-35, Teaching

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You know what they say about the best way to get over a man....

- Response by hubbyochris, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Cleveland, Executive

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I usually give it a year or two and it has been more. I give myself enough time to lose that familiarity of the person. I like to be past all of the emotional upset and really back to myself again. I don't think that is effects the person I seek to be with. Basically its always the same. I find myself with musicians a lot for what ever reason but I am attracted to kindness, humor , men that like to adventure.

- Response by morningdust, Female, 56-65, Self-Employed

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The only LTR I had to get over was thru death.It is some what the same. You have to learn to live with out him. I would have loved to find some one just like him.

- Response by frenchkiss49, Female, 66 or older, Tampa, Who Cares?

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I was with a guy before I met my husband in 2001. We actually were together way back when I was 19, for 2 years. However I married someone else w/ my 1st marriage. After my first marriage
crumbled, I moved back to my paren'ts house for a couple of years (b4 I got my own place) and I got back together with him again for 8 years. It was an on again off again relationship for the longest time. Break up, make up. Finally I left him for good and I'd say it took a good two years...

- Response by suzyscorp, Female, 46-55, Who Cares?

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Actually many years...not the person per se ..but the following devestation that ensued as a result of a pebble in a pond, the bad stuff kept going and going...

- Response by englishrose4945, Female, 66 or older, Miami, Alternative Medicine

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Actually it depends. I've had one where it took me only a few weeks because I realized he was a jerk.

And then I've had one where I hurt for months afterwards.

- Response by seductivepisces9, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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I've only been in two relationships, each about 6 months apart. The first wasn't exactly long term, although it wasn't light dating, either -- it was about 9 months. I honestly wasn't over it when the next relationship came along, although the wanting her back part was over fairly quickly. I think it was about 6 months into the second relationship before I forgave my first girlfriend. The second relationship was 3 years. I proposed. She freaked out and hasn't spoken to me since. That was February last year. It doesn't hurt anymore, but there's still no one else I'd rather be with.

- Response by ryanthegreatarj, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 26-28, Student

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I would say 25%-35% as long as you dated... to get fully over (IF you do not meet someone else).

- Response by wakeforester, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 36-45

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when i fall i fall takes me forever!

- Response by jamiesangel777, Female, Who Cares?, Los Angeles, Other Profession

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If you loved them a long time. If you didn't not so long.

- Response by hands, A Creative, Male, 46-55, Hong Kong, Who Cares?

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