With all due respect to you. Your posts make me understand why your screen name is what it is. And, I truly believe that is affecting the decisions you're making and your relationship. Seriously, where is the rest of your life, sweetie? I mean, where are your family, friends, and socializing outside of this guy? You're calling him your boyfriend. Does he know that?
Seriously, he sounds like a young man with a life, that's all! He had friends before he met you. He's hung out with them a lot; enjoying his life, before he met you. If this man is not initiating any type of communication, or spending time with you; unless it's stopping over and it ends with sex! Then, you are a f*ck buddy or fwb. You should spend your free time always wondering if he's going to call, text, make or confirm plans!
First, you did this with plans for the 4th. Now, it's plans for today! Seriously, YOU ASKED HIM about spending today together. So, you should be making the plans and confirming for today. If he was the one who desired this, he should be doing it. And, even then you still should confirm for yourself. So, you're not blowing off any opportunities that could come your way. Yes, this guy cares more about his friends than YOU.
Yes, if you didn't call him as much, he probably wouldn't call or text you UNTIL HE FELT LIKE IT. I'm sure at one time, this guy seemed really interested in you. But, your neediness and lack of your own life, make him feel responsible for your social life and happiness. It's a turn off. NO MAN EVER WANT TO BE IN THIS POSITION. They shouldn't have to be. And, it almost ALWAYS destroys their desire to be around you.
Men are attracted to strong, confident women with lives of their own! They don't always want to be up under you. As if once they became your boyfriend their whole world stopped being theirs to enjoy *sometimes* without you. There seems to be nothing to who you are, except being with him in your free time! I know you might not get to see him that much.
But, that is no reason to believe every free moment you have you have to be with him. Nor, that he should drop all plans and things he want to do every time you're free. Don't you ever want to do things without him up under you? Don't you ever have fun having a day where you don't give a damn if he calls or texts? Don't you ever want to hang out and have a great time with your girlfriends?
Your posts sound like your very own romantic version of the 3 Stooges who's on first? I promise you, I'm not trying to be mean to you. But, it hurt my heart that this type of dilemma seems to be your life. You know already in your heart if this man is treating you like a boyfriend that want to be with you. Or, it's seeming more like you're a f*ck buddy/fwb.
If that is not what you want to feel like, you need to move on. Because, it does seem according to what you're saying in all of your posts, that he is a bit uncaring and uninterested. It sounds more like he invites you to things he and his friends are doing. I mean what exactly are the plans for today? You brought this up. You should have plans and call this dude up. Tell him what you're going to do, and when you're going to go. Stop waiting around for this guy to be chivalrous and do all of the work for something you want more than he does!
If you continue this relationship, you need to stop calling, texting, and asking him to things. Let this man BE THE MAN, and initiate something. Let him miss you and want to see you. Then, he'll make the plans. If he doesn't. And, he's all talk when sex is the plan, but blows you off any other time, or he doesn't contact you at all.
You let him know it's over and never look back. But, PLEASE get a life. Because, all you're going to do is carry this same behavior into your next relationship that you'll be needy for. And, the cycle will continue. Yes, you could meet a man that will be attentive to you. He will enjoy making plans and seeing you. But, this is how it always is in the beginning. Until, you start showing them there is nothing interesting about you other than "cuddling and having sex."
Show men you have an interesting life, and you're interesting. Regardless of whether he's called, texted, responded, asked, or confirmed anything! If you try to call your *boyfriend* today, and he's blowing off your calls, and doesn't get back with you. LEAVE HIM ALONE FOR GOOD! Don't let him creep back in. Good luck.
- Response by thelovedovefor1
, Female, 46-55, Atlanta, Who Cares?
Community Rating: Community Star