Active Questions
| Family & Relationships / 2:58 AM - Saturday February 11, 2012 |
Are we obligated to have a baby shower for my sister?My sister is not very close with my mom, my dad and me. There are a few different reasons for this: One is that her husband is an asshole and we can't stand to be around him. Another reason is that my mom has been ill for the last few months and my sister has only visited her once because she's "so busy".
- Asked by Female, 29-35, Baltimore, Law Enforcement |
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I hear ya. Are you obligated? Absolutely not. Should she expect it based upon your family dynamic, probably not. Would it be a nice thing to do? Yes. Her husband won't be there cause it's an all girl gig, so you're off the hook there. I totally get where everyone is coming from. My husband and I are still waiting for thank you notes for wedding presents from 10 years ago, 5 years ago, money he sent nephews 10 years ago. People just aren't raised with manners anymore. These days, if I actually GET thanked I don't know whether to shit or go blind. Having said that, maybe you sister's friends or in-laws will throw her one, then you can just send a token gift. Ultimately, it's the baby who's missing out, cuz your sis isn't the one wearing the goodies. I know your mom is ill and I'm sorry for that. I don't blame you for not wanting to stress her out with this. It is her grandchild though, and I'm sure she will want to see it after it's born, so in an effort not to have your sister cut her off from that, maybe you could just invite her over(leave the asshole husband at home, thank you - nice way is a "ladies only" invite)for a little luncheon with a few friends and let that be it. Usually women have more than one shower thrown for them, with co-workers, in-laws, friends, so you don't need to go all out. Just grit your teeth, offer the invite and if other relatives don't want to come, that's up to them to tell her why, you're under no obligation to give her lessons in class and manners. Ultimately, it's about your mom seeing her grandchild. Only do what she can physically handle and explain that to your sister. If she can't deal with that, then she's REALLY too rude to even deal with.
- Response by diznykd, Female, 46-55, Who Cares?
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I think for family sometimes you have to force things. It shows support and keeps you connected . If you chose not to and she gets hurt she will withdraw even more and you wont get to watch your nice or nephew grow up and they will need you.
- Response by morningdust, Female, 46-55, Self-Employed
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From what you describe, her shower would hardly be a happy occasion.
- Response by mrscleaver16, Female, 56-65
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around here its customary for friends to do the shower. not the family. get her some presents. goodness thats gonna be your little neice or nephew. as much as my family tended to be the hatfields and mccoys - we dropped the shotguns for deaths and births. once we got the niceties outta the way.. back to the porch in our boxers with our pipes and guns.
- Response by mortishia99, Female, 46-55, Medical / Dental
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it should be up to her BEST FRIENDS who ever they are!
- Response by rafiki910, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, Who Cares?, Boston, Body Work
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Baby showers are for the babies, not for the mothers. It s because you are pleased that the baby will come soon.
- Response by sailormoon, Female, 36-45, Other Profession
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