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| Family & Relationships / 9:17 AM - Thursday February 02, 2012 |
Sister in law not attempting to bond with meMy brother got married to my sister in law two years ago. I have tried to bond with my sister in law many times but she always put a distance between us. I do live only a block away from them in the same city. My sister in law don't call me and come over my house. She don't invited me to the family's cookout or dinner but she would invited my mom and younger sister. She is going on a Las Vegas trip with my younger sister later this year. She didn't invited me cause she said that I wouldn't able to party all night with them. I am always up late after midnight all the times anyway. It does hurt when she say those negative words about me when she do not bothered to bond or hangout with me. My sister in law and my brother started to show their concern for me recently. I thought it was weird cause I feel that she does not treat me like family or sister when I try to bond with her. I do see or talk to her when I see her around the holidays and family's birthday parties. I don't see or talk to her on a regular basis like I do wish. When I do try to bond or hangout with her, she just pushed me away and it do hurt. She won't do that to my younger sister. She tell my younger sister on Facebook that she is the best sister in law she ever had. She never tell me that on Facebook. Everyone told me that I just need to accept my sister in law for the way she is and just be cordial. I am not going to do all of the work 100% since she haven't attempt to bond with me. My boyfriend said that I am not a boring person. He said that I am a fun person to be around and very kind hearted. I am only 3 year older than my sister in law and 11 year older than my younger sister. They know that I want to hangout with them but they don't attempt to bond with me. I haven't tried to bond with them for the last couple months cause I don't want to get hurt again.
- Asked by Female, 36-45, Indianapolis, Other Profession |
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Maybe it is about your ages. Perhaps your sister in law is a little immature and feels more comfortable being 'big sister' to the sister who is 8 years younger than her. She might view you as someone who is more mature than her and who she would have to be on her toes to be around whereas with your little sister she can be more in control.
- Response by maryea, Female, 56-65, New York, Retired
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I would try to sit down and talk to her ask her why she treating you like this all the time other wise you can write to her to see what happens I know how you feel my sister in law treated me like crap and she hurt me a lot to its sad plus she ended my marrage to even know the guy was a jerk her bother the way he let her get away with it I would even talk to your bother about her to he should even talk to her and stick up for you.
- Response by pawbuddys, Female, 46-55
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stop wasting time and energy worrying about why this woman doesn't want to bond with you. you've tried and and she doesn't care. realize that it's HER loss.
- Response by girlpower08, Female, 36-45
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Maybe try being more possitive and quit trying to make her happy and just be yourself. you do not have to be friends with her. The one thing I will say is that people do not like to be around negative people. If your post is any reflection of your off line personality, I would say it is due to them wanting to be possitive and not down and negative on everything. If you are talking to others about how this upsets you, I would bet that it has gotten back to her and she doesn't care to be around the negativity. Just something to think about.
- Response by juandontbeg, A Career Man, Male, 36-45, Charlotte, Self-Employed
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OK I gotta be honest with you. I read all that and even I did not ever want to hang out with you. You sound boring and needy. Seriously, what's with the begging her to hang out with you. Knock it off. What's up with the jealousy of your younger sister. I mean geez you are way too old to be continuing a sibling rivalry to this stage in your life. Here's what I hear in your post and what your sister, brother and sister in law all here: "I'm cool hang out with me. I'm not boring hang out with me. I swear you will like me." UMMMMMMMM NOOOOOOO! That's not how it works. Geez. How about you find something cool to do and then maybe they will want to hang out with you. You sound so needy and that the act of hanging with other people is what's important. Wrong, it's what you do with people you like. Beyond that, it sounds like you don't drink and they do. Drinkers don't want to hang out with non-drinkers and that will never change unless you start drinking. Find people that are like you and hang out with them. You can't force people to want to hang out with you because you think it's a good idea.
- Response by 7zebras, A Career Man, Male, 36-45, New York, Financial / Banking
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Sounds like she is more of a loner and follows suit of her man- your brother... She follows him everywhere, eats when he eats... some women are like that. It probably is not anything against you, she just might not have time or thinks the same about you, that your just really try to ignore her or something. As her to go with you out to eat or shopping at the mall and ask tell her how you had fun and ask her if she will hang out with you more.
- Response by Female, 22-25
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Try sending her a letter telling her you wish you had a closer relationship.Tell her you like her and would like to do things with her.
- Response by frenchkiss49, Female, 56-65, Tampa, Who Cares?
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