Back to Home

Active Questions

Guys...I know its private but how often does a typical male jack off? My bf is 36 and of course
Sex & Intimacy / 3:00 PM - Friday September 16, 2011

Guys...I know its private but how often does a typical male jack off? My bf is 36 and of course

he hides it from me.. but Ive found out that hes a major porn freak when Im not around.. Ive asked him about it just inquiring and told him to do it infront of me but he wont. We have a great sex life so I know hes not doing this because of no sex. When I go to his house of course he leaves rags around and when we are sexual its obvious when he has done it. Its not a big deal to me, its his body but since he wont be honest I was wanting to find out from yall.. I guess he thinks Im just stupid!!

- Asked by withhim, A Single Gal, Female, 36-45

Read more about the Rating System


Gosh...there are some angry..grumpy...older men making posts here..sounds like they need to get laid.

- Response by Female, 29-35, St.Louis, Other Profession

Rating Received:


I can go 3 times a day if it is one of those days... maybe more depending... lol... but hiding it?.. hmmm... just talk to him about it in a very pleasant setting.. best when you're being intimate and tell him you are curious about something.. that you find it exciting and want to know... it is a more gentle approach and he will likely then open up and you can then have an easier time talking about it... don't aporach it as he thinks you are stupid... it is likely his need level is high and it is embarassing for him to talk about.. so he doesn't want you feeling like you are not enough or doesn't want to hurt your feelings by telling you he needs more and maybe longer sessions or more intimacy, eros or whatever... if you come at this from a love position and talk about it gently it can be a chance for you to build some more intimacy and that can only be good... just make sure you don't come at it like it is an inquisition... if you just blurt out and talk about it face to face.. that can be hard.. and from this behavior I suspect he would have a hard time with that.... best wishes... maybe you can make this a really good chance to bond....

- Response by timeforanoverhaul, A Father Figure, Male, 36-45, Self-Employed

Rating Received:

Community Rating: Community Star

Huh? "he leaves rags around and when we are sexual its obvious" Really? How so? Because testosterone levels,which control dolphin polishing frequency,are highest in people having regular weekly sex. It is lowest in lonely singletons. So if you get with him four or five times a week he's probably doing it at least once or twice a day.

But you don't care about that. You're doing the typical female "It's MY penis!" thing. He's a major porn freak when you are not around.

OK How would you know what "major" is when you don't understand basic male sexual physiology. And if you are not around then how do you know? Spies? Cameras? Or you have snooped and you saw a rag on the floor? You "told him to do it infront of me but he wont.". Really? Gee,I wonder why? You don't TELL people,especially men,something like that. I would say so far you are a major entitlement freak.

Biggest lie of all: "It's no big deal to me.". Sure it isn't. That's why you have all this circumstantial and anecdotal evidence which you selected to support a predetermined conclusion. And then the wonderfully frustrated ending. "I guess he thinks I'm stupid!!".

Well if he does I highly agree with him. Because you are full of shit,trying to make trouble where none is,and claiming some injury to you because he jerks off when you aren't there.

You have no right to nose around his private stuff,direct strokage,or cast aspersions at him based on your personal insecurities. It's his fuckin house lady. Not yours. You sound like one of those wonderful women who thrives on drama and requires daily re-inflation of her ego.
And if there is no valid issue of concern you will create one out of rags and his normal desire for privacy.

He should dump you and get a younger chick. They act the same but have less miles on the clock.

- Response by llafsroh, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Boston, Science / Engineering

Rating Received:


Don't know what is typical. I usually do it every other day.

- Response by size008, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 66 or older, New York, Retired

Rating Received:


Jack off? For me? Never. Absolutely never..... yeah,never.

The thing is, self pleasure rarely has to do with the other person. It doesn't mean he's not getting any sex. It doesn't mean he doesn't like the sex. It doesn't mean he's not getting enough sex.

Put in another way, if just finished a meal at a fancy restaurant and were completely filled, and had a craving for McDonalds, does that mean you didn't like what you got at the fancy restaurant and you weren't full? No. It just means you want some mcdonalds.



- Response by inotnuts, A Father Figure, Male, 36-45, Newark, Retired

Rating Received:


In a sexy setting, YOU masturbate in front of him, making it obvious that he is the center of your attention and activity. He should find it very interesting, and it should open the door for discussion.

- Response by wallvis, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 66 or older, Retired

Rating Received:


When I was young, many times a day. Now at 51, couple times a week. Sometimes more. I do it because it feels good, and/or someone gets the thoughts going.

- Response by fungunloaded, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 46-55

Rating Received:


I have, since I lost my virginity at the tender age of thirteen, always had a relatively active and adventurous sex life. However, if you saw the amount of porn on my computer (yes, I still download porn -- but only the really good stuff), you would think that I was a slave to the porn industry (which I am) and that my sex life wasn't fulfilling enough.

Although I don't speak for all men, I can say that when I watch porn, it takes me to an entirely different place. Takes me to a place where I can sleep with lithe, pneumatic, statuesque blondes with overly aggressive tans -- blondes who I don't typically go for.

So you see, porn is really a way for most of us men to escape into a world that we would never have gone to on our own, or a way to satiate unfulfilled fantasies -- it typically has nothing to do with the woman we are currently with.

- Response by holidaystyles, A Career Man, Male, 26-28, Philadelphia, Student

Rating Received:


A man I used to date was very private about his masturbation activities. He didn't like to talk about it and he didn't want us to do it together. It was something that he wanted to be separate from our sex life. He was much younger than your guy (we were 22 and 23) but, he finally broke it down for me and it made sense. He said that after so many years as tween/teen living with his parents, having to sneak to jack off, sneak to look at porno mags, make sure the door to his bedroom was locked or wait until no one was home, etc. he just couldn't let go and get comfortable with it being a "couples activity". It was his own private time alone and the idea of showing me or being totally open about it made him anxious.

You're going to get varying answers from the AO guys and what will those answers tell you about how often YOUR man does it? My only issue with this would be the fact that he leaves cum rags lying around. WTF?

- Response by surrealoptimism, Female, 29-35

Rating Received:


Perhaps not stupid but you are being silly.
Even Dr.Oz has said maturbation is normal!!

Do not get bent out of shape that he does this on his own. It is a private thing when you are taught it's wrong, so it's hidden.......
Now change your thinking it's not wrong, and if you walk in on him do nat shame him join him. The best way to get over this is to practice masturbation with him.

- Response by seasons4, An Retiree, Female, 46-55, Financial / Banking

Rating Received:


Men masturbate for a variety of reasons: to help get up in the morning, to relax, as a release for sexual tensions. Masturbating is different than having sex with a partner. Don't begrudge him this private activity. Be grateful that you have a healthy sex life with him.

- Response by betterbird, A Creative, Male, 46-55, San Francisco, Administrative

Rating Received:


All guys masterbate. Those who say they dont are lying or are sexual predators that only get off on things I wont dicuss here. Major porn freak? What exactly does that mean? Does he watch porn while driving the car, eating dinner, taking a shower, going to the bathroom, at work? You have a great sex life? What does that have to do with it. Unless you are there to service him 24/7 without question, guess what? He is going to masterbate. He is not honest about it? Well, all I can say is, its not about you. I know its hard for women to understand, but everything a man does with his own penis does not revolve around you. Does he tell you every time he takes a piss? Does he have to do it in front of you in order to be honest about it? No. To try to equate this into female terms, every time you touch your breasts, does it mean you want sex? To a guy, we cant understand why you dont sit and play with them all day long. But that is the difference between men and women. Men tend to treat women as sexual objects because most men wish women would treat them as sexual objects. Kinda ironic when you think about it. If women had any idea how much men think about sex on a daily basis, they would be dumbstruck. There is a movie called Simply Irresistable with Sara Michelle Gellar, where she is having a conversation with this guy and he says something along the lines of men think about sex every 6 seconds or so. Im not sure if its a real fact or not, but it sounds about acurate, if you average it out. Now alot of the things ive said here are generalizations; obviously every man is different. But it gives you an idea of the reality.

- Response by spiritdude, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 36-45, Denver, Therapist

Rating Received:


A good gf should be helping him to have a full rich, wonderful life. He should not be needing to "hide" his sexual desire from his gf. If you keep this up, you may be replaced.

Hint: Many women I've known want all the male sexual fluid they can get. Its really a very limited product.

- Response by greenwind, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 56-65, Construction

Rating Received:


I am down to twice a day now but back at that age it was more

- Response by bigcurt, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 56-65, Pittsburgh, Self-Employed

Rating Received:


Actually he just thinks you are uptight and have an issue with it which is why he is having to hide it.

- Response by juandontbeg, A Career Man, Male, 36-45, Self-Employed

Rating Received: