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My husbands friend has been stealing my panties...
Sex & Intimacy / 6:51 PM - Tuesday August 17, 2010

My husbands friend has been stealing my panties...

Now I know reading this it's likely to make most laugh, I know I would if I read this and it wasn't about myself, but please I want only serious replies.

I have been with my husband for 11 years and married 3 years. We have a friend who we consider very close to us, we was best man at our wedding, he is practically family, he has been my husbands friend since they were 10 years old and I love him to bits too. He is in every way a great guy.

Sooo, our friend was staying over one night and I walked in on him sniffing my used panties in the laundry husband was asleep in bed. I was extremely horrified, he tried to cover up what he was doing, I called him out on it and he repeatedly apologised. I ran out he chased after me and begged me not to tell my husband...I was still in shock and full of rage but I decided to sit down and listen to his explanation. He said it was a moment of madness and was in there looking for a towel as he spilt a drink...there was a spillage, then happened to see them and then he picked them up.

I know my friend has betrayed my husband and I but I decided to not tell my husband and forgive him, like I mentioned before I love him like family, he's done so much for us and I care for him deeply so want to believe him and forgive him. I did ask if he had ever done it before he said no, but now I've had time to think about what happened I've began to remember over the years my panties going missing, not in high volume or anything, just that you do notice that kind of thing but I never considered someone stealing them.

Now of course I don't really know if he has been and I'll never ask him again as he already said no and well I want to put a line under it and move on, I do know he'll never do it again thats for sure!

I would never cheat on my husband, however for the last few times I have found myself thinking about him sniff my panties while I masturbate, I get off on him doing it all these years in secret.

What do you make of all this? First our friend doing this to begin with, I clearly know its wrong but I chose to forgive. And secondly my...well weird i agree turn on about him doing it, there has to be a proper reason for that deep down in my head somewhere!

- Asked by Female, Who Cares?

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Had a similar situation. My wife walked in on my best friend sniffing her panties and clearly had a hard on and his hand was tucked down his shorts. He told her that he saw them on the ground and just got so horny (my wife only wears lacy string thong panties) thinking about the sexy style.

See my friend lives a good distance away so three or four times a month he's over late, has a few beers and stays in the guest room. No big deal.

Well, after she caught him, she kept it a secret for two years. But during that time she'd leave her panties on the floor in the bathroom, or half hanging out of the laundry basket in the closet, places she knew he'd see them. One night she stood in the door of the guest room, wiggled her panties down and off from under her dress and tossed them to him laying in bed telling him to have a good night and then she came and joined me in bed.

Their secret was exposed when I had to come home because I forgot something one day. He had spent the night before and I found my wife laying in the unmade guest bed masturbating with the panties she had been wearing the previous night in her hand. She had left him the panties when she came to bed and he had pleasured himself and left her something so she'd know it, in her panties. She admitted that what turned her on about it was that night she caught him, the look on his face as she smelled them, and the size of what his other hand was stroking and the idea that it had got him that way.

Surprisingly I wasn't all that upset by it. OK at first, but after I cooled down. Seriously, my wife has an amazing body and if you tried to imagine that body in those sexy little panties, I'm sure any guy would have done the same.

Anyhow we joked about it for a few years, and she still gave him her panties when he stayed over. He'd be embarrassed but say he didn't care it turned him on so much.

- Response by A Mr. Married Guy, Male, 36-45, Self-Employed

Rating Received:

You are responding to this man's "fetish." And yes, he's done it before and he will do it again,(but maybe not to you). And hopefully, the "thrill of it all" will fly out of your head in time. Nothing to worry about unless it is always on your mind.

- Response by pushkins, Female, 66 or older, Miami, Who Cares?

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Community Rating: Community Star

I don't think your friend has betrayed your husband, especially since he never did anything to you or him. Unless the loss of your underwear has put a dent in your finances, I don't think your friend has crossed any Rubicon.

If the thought of the friend doing what he did turned you on, and you still want to exact some level of retribution. I'd have to say that's approaching hypocrisy. It's not wrong to forgive him. Besides, if your friend knew your husband since he was ten. I'm guessing the three of you were in each other's lives before you and your husband were married. So he knows where everyone stands when it comes to friendship.

As for the proper reason about getting turned on, what woman doesn't like the thought of a man getting aroused by her; even if it is by proxy.

I hope this helps and feel free to shoot me an e-mail if you have any questions.

- Response by benedictine, A Guy Critical, Male, 29-35, Detroit, Other Profession

Rating Received:

Well yes it turned you no. Because you know you where them and he did it to smell your pus**. Its not that uncommon and I heard of this but I think he will do it again and next time you wont be mad you will get turned on and thats what he wants! You two had a conversation and it made you more connected to him than your own husband! What if he tried to seduce you what would you do?

- Response by A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 29-35, Milwaukee, Food Service

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Hasn't it occurred to you that this guy smells anyone's panties that he can get his hands on. And, that he is potentially dangerous. You don't know what he may have done or could do with this uncontrolled mental illness.

- Response by maryea, Female, 56-65, Retired

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So you're at a crossroads. You can either play this game with him, and let him discretely sniff and steal your panties. Or you could rat the guy out to your husband, and presuming the friendship is over for Mr. Sniffer, you would probably never see him again. It's for you to decide.

- Response by betterbird, A Creative, Male, 46-55, San Francisco, Administrative

Rating Received:

You qualify as 100% grade A normal. Your immediate reaction was probably closer to disbelief than horror but upon further review you realized that he probably had/has a great deal of desire for you.The most wonderful, intimate, mysterious part of your essential femininity is your pussy. Your panties are the closest he could get to that. In retrospect, you have realized that, perhaps subconsciously and you find it to be a great turn on. Nothing weird on either end. If you think he's emotionally healthy enough to deal with it, send him a pair of your-slightly used-sexiest pair of panties you own with a note explaining that their are certain lines you would not cross in reality but in fantasy, you had thought about the incident, realized you embarrassed both of you, but find the thought erotic now. So you want to close the door on your mutual embarrassment and, if you both want, engage in a little discreet fantasy, online or on the phone. If and a huge if, you think you can do it without ruining a relationship you want to keep. Fantasy is a huge part of sex but it's relationship with reality can be like oil and water. If you find this to be at all helpful then please send me a pair also.

- Response by april4eliot, A Guy Critical, Male, 56-65, San Francisco, Self-Employed

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hilarious. forget about it or enjoy it, but don't make a big stink about it. If that's the worst thing wrong with the guy he's a saint.

- Response by teh1stone, A Guy Critical, Male, 29-35

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He messed up, got caught, faced the embarrassment. I think overall it is probably a harmless fetish & it is alright to forgive him. I think you from now on you should have designated private places to store your undies after realizing it may be an even bigger problem than suspected. As for the sexual fantasizing when masturbating, I think it is normal after he planted the seed in your head that he sees you as being sexually attractive. That could be harmless too as long as you don't let your curiosity in reality get the best of you. Continue to keep your erotic fantasies to yourself, fantasy does not equal reality.

- Response by Female, 36-45

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You harbor some resentment towards your husband..that hasn't been resolved... You two just never got it ironed out in the open...nothing cosmic...'bout that*

- Response by lady4u, The Cook, Female, 56-65, Cincinnati, Who Cares?

Rating Received:

I find his sneaky behavior very troubling. What right does he have to dig around in your most personal items like that? No boundaries. Perhaps you should tell your husband as I think he would not want a friend who sniffs his wife's panties...

- Response by sweetmama247, Female, 29-35, Buffalo, Home Maker

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How about you just call it EVEN with your husband's friend, and YOU forget about EVERYTHING. The friend can keep his sniffing a secret and you can keep your masturbation to it, to yourself. Nobody has to air their laundry; life is good again.

- Response by randyl, Female, Who Cares?, Technical

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your a grown woman...enjoy your fantasies

- Response by boxer1, A Guy Critical, Male, 46-55, Self-Employed

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- Response by Female, 29-35

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He not only sniffs them He wears them . He will not stop . I make sure my husband is wearing very pretty panties 24/7 , It keeps him calm submissive and also helps him focused on the fact that i am his superior and he is here to do as i please. He loves the panties and thanks me every morning for them . Panties are a great way to get a husband in line or even a husbands friend . I suggest making him wear them !

- Response by Female, 29-35

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