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DO'S AND DON'TS FOR PARENTS MEETING SON'S GIRLFRIEND FOR THE FIRST TIME?
Family & Relationships / 5:43 PM - Wednesday July 28, 2010

DO'S AND DON'TS FOR PARENTS MEETING SON'S GIRLFRIEND FOR THE FIRST TIME?

Youngun's -- what do you appreciate or hate when introducing your girlfriend/boyfriend to your parents for the first time?

Update: July 28, 2010.
Thanks one and all -- common courtesy and no grilling!!

- Asked by maryea, Female, 56-65, New York, Retired

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DO NOT make it a formal interrogation. Don't plan to sit in the living room and "chat" -That's unnatural.
Do include her in something the family is doing anyway - an outing or a meal.
Let her tell you what she wants to the first time without pumping her for information. She's a nervous wreck already.
I learned this from my four grown children. They like to bring their new sweeties to a party or concert or something so the "meeting" is not the main event.

- Response by monana, Female, 56-65, Who Cares?

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I'm not a "youngun", but when I met my son's girlfriend (now wife), I wanted to make her feel at home and welcome.

My son told us he appreciated us being friendly and open to her ...

I didn't "grill" her or ask a lot of questions. We just had a nice chat about general things and my son and it went very well.

I think the clue is just to be natural and not critical. Not easy, I know .. but we have to do what makes our kid's feel like we're behind their decision to date this person.

- Response by mrscleaver16, Female, 56-65

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Make her feel welcome! I love that my parents can make the guys I bring home feel at ease, because meeting parents can be really nerve racking. My boyfriend was sooo nervous the first time I brought him home. Hilarious to me because I know my parents are great. And he's a grown man.

First-time meetings are usually about getting to know each other, so we youngun's expect the school, family and hobbies conversations, and are generally prepared for it. If she is shy, you may have to encourage her to open up by talking more yourself and telling stories. (Not embarrassing stuff about your son though...save that for the third or fourth meeting!)

Just stay away from ANY and ALL relationship advice! When I met my bf's grandmother, she made the situation REALLY awkward by telling us that two babies-of-the-family (we're both the youngest of three) is a terrible combination because "the babies are spoiled and stubborn, and good luck with that". Then she told us that we would have to learn to compromise and followed it up with a slew of pointers for a long and happy life together, which "probably would be hard anyway, because we are both the babies, after all". Oh, and we had been dating a month at this point.

In the end, you just need to be warm, friendly and relaxed. If you are genuinely happy to meet her, it will show!

- Response by cons22, Female, 26-28, Seattle

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I still remember walking in with her while my mother was scolding my kid brother.

- Response by chesterdad, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 56-65, San Francisco

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well i invite them over a few times before theyre my boyfriend so they can get used to him

- Response by kcbm13, Female, 22-25, San Francisco

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