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What does it meant when a guy says he doesn't want to be in a serious relationship?
Sex & Intimacy / 8:13 PM - Tuesday July 13, 2010

What does it meant when a guy says he doesn't want to be in a serious relationship?

I'm seeing a guy who I really click well with. He says he enjoys spending time with me and we do kiss as well. He has opened up to me about things he hasn't shared with anyone else. These are good signs, right? Well, wrong...he also says he isn't looking for a serious relationship. Does this mean he isn't into me, like the book says? Should I wait or should I continue to see other people?

Update: July 14, 2010.
This is what I was afraid of! Everything you guys said, I already know. I guess I just needed reassurance. According to the good book, a guy that isn't ready for commitment isn't ready for commitment with YOU. I take it to mean that he isn't ready for a serious relationship WITH ME because he isn't feeling me as more than just a friend with benefits. And no, I'm not stupid for wondering where I stand. I have already given my permission to see other people...I have a date with someone tomorrow as we speak! I am pulling back on my breaks because I've made mistakes like this before and I can't afford to get hurt again..Thank you all for your suggestions! Even the harsh ones!

- Asked by Female, 36-45

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Most men assume women want "the whole 9 yards" when it comes to a serious relationship: quality time (4-6 days a week together), relationship title, meeting friends/family, talking about a future together, ect. And some men know that they just don't want that right now. Just because he doesn't want a serious relationship doesn't mean he doesn't like you. It means he likes hanging out with you and probably thinks you are a fun person to be around but doesn't see long term relationship possibilities. Maybe there is no compatibility or he is looking for a different type of personality or he is not ready to "settle down" yet. Take it for what it is or don't take it at all.

- Response by chal08, A Rebel, Male, 29-35

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I tell my best friend things I don't tell other people. Doesn't mean I wanna screw her.

He doesn't want a relationship. Assume that means NEVER. Move on.

- Response by myndseye711, A New Mom, Female, 29-35, Managerial

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Community Rating: Community Star

I would continue to see other people, just as he is doing. But stay in touch with this special fellow. He may just be enjoying playing the field, but he will want to settle down eventually.

- Response by betterbird, A Creative, Male, 46-55, San Francisco, Administrative

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Don't necessarily take it personally. He is probably telling you the truth about how HE feels at this time. Which means, at this time, he doesn't want to be committed. Its up to you whether you want to look for someone who does want to be committed, or enjoy your time with him.

- Response by sunset77, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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I went through a similar situation. Im glad he is being honest with you. The translation probably means, he only wants to have sex with you. No commitment, no drama, no jealousy. He probably is into you but does not want this to be more than a freindship with benefits. If you are developing strong feelings for him, It may be best to step away to avoid getting hurt.

- Response by bfly36, Female, 36-45, Other Profession

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He wants to have some fun, without getting into all the drama.

- Response by fehkarfight, A Couch Potato, Male, 56-65, Who Cares?

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he wants sex and no ties

- Response by A Career Man, Male, Who Cares?, Who Cares?

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I got 2 words for you kid.




He's looking at you to be his fuck buddy. A really good gal pal he has sex with.

Are you gonna be the idiot who thinks "if I let him fuck me all he wants, that means he loves me?"

Are you gonna be that stupid?

Just....shove ole boy into the friend zone and no more kissing.

If he's not ready to be yours and yours alone?


- Response by hnygrl, Female, 46-55, Managerial

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What he means is, he "doesn't want to be in a serious relationship."

No more. No less. Men don't speak in code.

- Response by greenwind, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 56-65, Construction

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Why try to read between the lines????? He said exactly what he means. Listen to what he actually says!!! The book is partially right. He isn't into having a "serious relationship" with you not that he isn't into you as a good friends or a serious friendship. A tip here, the best and most successful spouses/partners all started as each other's best friends.... what's the "book" have to say about that???? (don't tell me as I already know the answer.... that part isn't in there right? (chuckle) book author is female right? LOL (just messing with you on the book thing..... (chuckle))

- Response by canajun, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 56-65, Vancouver, Self-Employed

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You know we women always overanalyze what men say and do but they usually mean what they say. So it means he doesn't want a relationship right now. He just wants to have fun so if that isn't what you want, date other men.

- Response by hulagirl55, Female, Who Cares?, Who Cares?

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It means he is only looking for sex

- Response by tartenon, A Guy Critical, Male, 36-45, Self-Employed

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That's odd I was just in the same exact situation. And guess what? We didn't end up dating. Sorry to tell you but he would tell me the same thing but I was dumb enough to sleep with him. And I was dumb enough to hold on and wait to see what happens. I didn't mind fuckim him though bc that's how we both started we decided to be fuck buddies but then I ended up really liking him. Go figure. Just walk away please before you get hurt like I did!! Good luck

- Response by shancook07, Female, 26-28, Who Cares?

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Take what he said for face value. He does NOT want a serious relationship. Everything else is irrelevant.

- Response by king313, A Rebel, Male, 29-35, Detroit, Technical

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