Active Questions
| Dating / 1:20 AM - Wednesday June 23, 2010 |
Is he scared of getting hurt or is he just playing me?There is a guy that I have been dating for a little while. On our first date, he said he wanted to be with me and pursue a relationship. He said he felt a connection with me and never felt this attracted to someone before. Some things happened and we broke it off. Recently, he wanted to try to get back together and he said he wanted me. Then shortly after when I asked him if he was serious about that this time, he said I don't know what I want. He has been divorced for a year and his wife really hurt him and he is scared he will get hurt again. Also, I have been planning to move out of town for a while and he says he is afraid of getting too attached and getting hurt and that I don't need to change my plans for him. What is really going on here?
- Asked by Female, 29-35 |
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hi, does not sound like he is sure of himself, and he is actually giving you a way out by saying he does not want you to change your moving plans. He is not ready, do not waste your time, find someone who is ready, life is short.
- Response by Female, 46-55, Administrative
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I would be wary if someone said that to me on the first date. He doesn't know you. Sounds like he doesn't like the single life much and his perception of what real love is, is skewed, sounds rather as if he is wanting you to almost take pity on him by saying you don't need to change your plans for him.. a bit manipulative, ooof..
- Response by heatherjune123, Female, 56-65, London, Who Cares?
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He is scared of getting hurt and probably not truly ready for a realtionship yet. He is getting there I am sure (kind of putting the toe in the water type thing) Even though his divorce has been finalized for a year - depending on how long they were together - he may need longer than a year to recover. I would hate to see you jump into a relationship and end up being his re-bound person. We all know those never work out. Just take things slow - let him be the one to call the shots - plus you say you are moving soon - so take it slow see how things go while you are here - once you have left - if the connection is still there between the two of you - then take small steps and see where it goes. i really hope that helps. It is hard for someone who is newly divorced to jump back in the scene and not be completely terrified. Things have changed so much. Give him time and space and just let it happen naturally - if it is meant to be and the chemistry is there - it will happen.
- Response by ldlconfusion, Female, 36-45, Houston
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He is scared of getting hurt and probably not truly ready for a realtionship yet. He is getting there I am sure (kind of putting the toe in the water type thing) Even though his divorce has been finalized for a year - depending on how long they were together - he may need longer than a year to recover. I would hate to see you jump into a relationship and end up being his re-bound person. We all know those never work out. Just take things slow - let him be the one to call the shots - plus you say you are moving soon - so take it slow see how things go while you are here - once you have left - if the connection is still there between the two of you - then take small steps and see where it goes. i really hope that helps. It is hard for someone who is newly divorced to jump back in the scene and not be completely terrified. Things have changed so much. Give him time and space and just let it happen naturally - if it is meant to be and the chemistry is there - it will happen.
- Response by ldlconfusion, Female, 36-45, Houston
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