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Should i be worried that my boyfriend has alot of female friends?
Dating / 8:31 AM - Friday June 04, 2010

Should i be worried that my boyfriend has alot of female friends?

My boyfriend has alot of female friends. Some he went to highschool with and some i guess he just formed friendships with. Sometimes i just feel umcomfortable with the situation. None of what i have seen have tried to come on to him but of course im not around him 24, 7. But i know certain females and I dont trust them and the fact that he has known them longer than me. Sometimes i think i may be over reacting which he tells me I am but im just not use to having a bf with more than maybe 2 or 3 cool female friends. Should i just let it go or confront him about it.

- Asked by brownsuga83, Female, 29-35, Baltimore, Medical / Dental

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You should make friends with his friends. Then you will feel more comfortable when he is hanging with them, and they will know that you two are involved. Don't make him give up any friends, just understand he has them. Ultimately you will be the one that matters most to him if you guys get serious. Hang in there.

- Response by fas2005, A Father Figure, Male, 46-55, Pittsburgh, Science / Engineering

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Community Rating: Community Star

Sounds like he's always had lots of female friends. But -- he chose you to be his girlfriend. That has to say a lot.

I can understand how it could make you feel a little uncomfortable .. but until he gives you something to be jealous about .. I wouldn't worry so much about it.

I hope you two have lots of "alone" time without all the other girls around all the time. That's something I would hope he can understand. Otherwise, really no sense in being boyfriend and girlfriend if you spend all your time with everyone else.

- Response by mrscleaver16, Female, 66 or older

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do not try to change him

- Response by bigcurt, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 56-65, Pittsburgh, Self-Employed

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Yes, you should be worried.

People will put this on you, claiming that you are paranoid- or whatever... but the fact is that, relations start out small and grow gradually over time.

Just because there is 'nothing to worry about' right this moment and 'you are crazy for thinking so,' doesn't mean that something won't develop throughout their 'friendship.'

I have found someone who is not that way at all, and I did that intentionally. I stay away from anyone (including female friends) who are attention seekers. It just gets to be too much.

I prefer more of the 1-1, thinker types - for exactly that reason. =-)

- Response by cutypy5840, Female, 36-45, Medical / Dental

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Well... just keep seeing him. If you find you don't mind the friendships, stick with him. If you find you do mind the friendships, break up with him.

It's called dating ;).

- Response by trawna, Female, 46-55, Toronto, Consulting

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I get the idea that you are INSECURE about his friends of the opposite sex. If he is staying in the boundaries of the relationship with you and not going out every night.
I would hate to be your husband. Our marriage would not last long because of your jealousy.

- Response by amandasboy, A Father Figure, Male, 66 or older, Atlanta, Retired

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You are feeling this way for a reason and its a good one. The word insecurity has no place in this question. In the convent vows of a marriage it says forsaking all others. Woman always want what they can't have including married men. Go with your gut on this one. A single woman who is willing to toe the line with a man who is taken. If she is single trust me she has already thought of your man in a manner other than friendship especially if she has been single a long time and calls him to vent about life or the fact that she is still single. Sweety woman who settle for these men settle cause they think they can't do any better. The book of the Bible song of soloman talks exactly about this. It talks about keeping the foxes out of your vineyard. I will further explain if you need in a email xxxxxxxxxx. I am Christian woman who does not give bias advice but advice that I know woman deep down will agree with because its how we are wired. Don't settle
God Bless

- Response by Female, 29-35

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Jealous, much?

If my boyfriend had more female friends, I wouldn't give a shit. He has very few female friends living up here, though, aside from my best friend and some of his guy friends' girlfriends. (I don't have many, either. We both find most girls pretty annoying.) If he had more or less female friends, why should I care? Same goes for YOU. Why should YOU care if he has a lot of female friends or not? Let it go.

- Response by frankemix, Female, 22-25, Student

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typically a guy that has alot of female friends isnt going to bring his GIRLFRIEND around those friends IF he is screwing one of them. this is why i dont understand why you (and many females) get so stressed out about this type of situation. men and women can be friends without the having sex. since he had these friends BEFORE you and brings you around them.....then SERIOUSLY what are you stressing about. you are making what is probably a great situation between YOU and HIM a Bad one.

Loosen up and go with the flow or just move on. FYI, in my opinion no relationship is going to be perfect, there is always something. but if this one is what he says it is then you should go with it. OR LEave!!!!!!!!!

- Response by handsomedetroitguy, A Father Figure, Male, 36-45, Detroit, Political / Government

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Well all i have to say is that i'm only friends with girls and my man is totally cool with it its all about trust

- Response by mistypeaks, Female, 26-28, Edmonton, Body Work

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There is nothing wrong letting him know your fears, but if he hasn't done anyting particuarly to make you distrust him, then I would say you are overreacting....if these friends were there before you, then it's something you will have to find a way to deal with....Good luck

- Response by lk2mvit, Female, 36-45, Other Profession

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