My boyfriend hurts me during sex! Help!?
I am 19 years old and my boyfriend (21) and I have been together for close to a year now. We started having sex a couple of months ago. He's the first guy I've ever slept with.
At first, it was fine. He was very careful and took things slow because he knew I wasn't used to it. But now things are starting to change. He has told me in the past that he was into some pretty kinky, rough stuff with his last girlfriend, and that has never bothered me, but now he is starting to get rough with me.
I don't think he even realizes he's doing it, but he pulls my hair really hard. He has left teeth marks and hickeys before. I am usually really sore after sex, and I have bled a couple of times (meaning recently, not my first time which I know was normal). He even started to choke me one time. That was the one time I freaked out and made him stop. He said he didn't realize he was choking me and he apologized. I could tell he did feel really bad about it.
I mean sometimes this goes beyond rough and starts to border on violent. Its like he's angry or something. I know I have cried out and said "ouch!" on more than one occasion and its like he doesn't even hear me. Like he's zoned out or not all there or something. He scares me sometimes.
He loves sex, and he loves porn. He's got a HUGE collection of porn and I've seen him zone out like that when he's watching it. I have to call his name a few times to get his attention. And then his eyes look all glassy and strange. Its really weird and it freaks me out.
I am only 5'3" and very small framed and he is 6'. He works out a lot, and he's a lot stronger than me. He can hold me down with one hand, so I know he's more than capable of hurting me.
In all other aspects of the relationship, he's great! He's never been abusive in anyway. He's kind and loving, and he makes me feel very special and adored. I love him, and I know he loves me. I can see myself with him in the future. He's in college, and he has a good head on his shoulders. My parents love him. My friends love him. We have similar interests and values. He just brightens my day whenever he's around.
But its like he's a completely different person in the bedroom. Is this normal? What could make him act like this? And how can I talk to him about it without making him feel bad?
- Asked by 0darkfairyprincess0
, Female, 22-25, Atlanta, Student