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My bf is married, he calls me everyday but still stays with wife..do you think he loves me?
Sex & Intimacy / 2:36 AM - Monday January 18, 2010

my bf is married, he calls me everyday but still stays with wife..do you think he loves me?

he says they are not intimate with each other and she has ignored him for more than 20 years... now that she learned about me, she is devastated and is threatening to kill herself if he leaves her. she calls me when she's drunk and curse me, but i do not utter a word to her. my bf says he is just trying to keep the peace but would like for us to be together in the future. i feel so guilty sometimes, but my bf said the only reason why his wife is running after him is because she just wants to save face in the community and cannot stad the idea of him being happy with somebody else. he sais his wife would rather that they both be misserable than for him to be happy with somebody else... should i stay or should i leave?

Update: January 18, 2010.
i have been seeing him for a year and one month now..... am not sure i want him to divorce her because i do not want to be the cause of their divorce.. besides, i dont know if i ever want to get married again. i was married once but have been separated for almost 28 years now. i tell him that if ever they decide to divorce it should be for the many other issues thay have had... not because of my presence in his life. i feel that i am just a "casualty of war" in this scenario. sometimes i am tempted to leave but i feel that it is not easy to find someone whom one trully feels for.. and that life is short and that everybody deserves to be happy. i am confused. help!

- Asked by Female, 46-55

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How long have you been involved with him?? If he really means that he wants you, then he needs to make a move to divorce her. There is no middle ground. He says he is trying to keep the peace, but there is no peace to be kept. She is calling you and cursing you out, so all bets are off. He needs to pick which side of the fence he is going to stand on. If she has really ignored him for twenty years, then why is he still with her?? Men rarely leave their wives, so pin him down on this. Then you know for sure and can lead your own life.

- Response by dreamdancer, Female, 36-45, Houston, Other Profession

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He is a married man. He has chosen to be married for over 20 years.

He is telling you the same thing every married man tells the OTHER WOMAN: She doesn't understand me. We do not have sex.

I think it is terrible that he is putting her in this position. If you think there will be a divorce, think again.

And, think about this: If he did divorce her, he finds nothing immoral about cheating when married. Why do you think he would not cheat on you too? Once a cheat always a cheat.

Which means you are not his first. Ask his wife about that the next time she calls.

- Response by randyl, Female, 36-45, Los Angeles, Technical

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This is just the beginning of Hell on Earth... Even if he leaves her..he will never leave her emotionally..he is scarred,torn and damaged... You will find him looking out the window with tears coming down his face wondering if she is ok...You then will throw up wondering night after night if he loves you or is sincerely sorry he left her... He will twist up on this guilt trip until you threaten to go the the psch ward or jump off the roof... He will look amazed and call you a NUT...

Now should you stay or leave...

I am nursing a friend thru this as we speak... hmmmmmmmmm



- Response by lady4u, The Cook, Female, 56-65, Cincinnati, Who Cares?

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Ok! he said, she said, you said.
Why he doesn't take his bag and leave???
He is a big lier and you are stupid.
You can have sex with a married man if you don't have another dick available, but to believe he loves you and wait for a future together is !! funny to say the least.

- Response by Female, 36-45, Other Profession

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