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How do you handle a narcissistic coworker?
Friendship / 3:47 AM - Wednesday December 23, 2009

How do you handle a narcissistic coworker?

I have a coworker who is annoying. She talks a lot and mostly about herself. In times when she has tried to engage me, the minute I start talking she focuses back on herself and if I try to finish a thought she answers, "Well, I'm talking about me now..." She does this to others as well, but I deal with her the most because we take the bus home together from work. There was even a time that I was tearing up about something, and she saw that but proceeded to ask me what I thought of her new earrings. So not only is she a chatterbox; she is also incredibly self-absorbed. How do I deal with this? Should I "tell her about herself" or should I just yield to her? Not that it matters but she is in her 40's and I'm in my 30's. Thanks.

- Asked by kizzy75, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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You just be you.....do not yield to her and don't tell her about herself either....be the better person. Politely but firmly tell her that you are tired of always listening about her and to not talk to you anymore unless she wants to listen about other people as well. She needs to be made aware that this isn't her world, it belongs to everyone and she needs to have some respect. If that didn't work ignore her or when she speaks to you tell her you don't want to hear her at all, not even the sound of her voice because of her selfishness.

- Response by lasttrueromantic, Female, 36-45, Teaching

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The time you were tearing up about something would have been an excellent opportunity to let her know that it's not all about her. Something like, "Hey, Narc, I'm really upset about something. Your earrings are very nice, but right now I need to talk to you about my problem". If that doesn't give her the hint, just sit there and listen to her, nod politely at times to let her know you're still awake, and pray that the bus doesn't run into traffic so you can get away from her as soon as possible.

- Response by experience101, Female, 56-65, Who Cares?

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people who are "lets talk abot me" are just full of themself, i don't think u should yeild to her, but you should tell her to listen to you even if you have to tell her to shut up, be quiet, stop talking, whatever it takes, tell her "I listen to your problems but you don't have the adasity(sp)to respect other and the world don't revolved just her."

- Response by kitkat1979, Female, 29-35, Who Cares?

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Place them in a room full of mirrors.....and shut the door and lock it!!!!

- Response by richard77, A Jock, Male, Who Cares?, Self-Employed

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OMG - she sounds like she's the absolute WORST! I think instead of an outburst, I'd quietly tell her that though I understand she's very worldly and experienced she comes off as self absorbed and a bad listener. If that doesn't sink in, summon the spirit of your cursing great uncle and go butt-effing off!

- Response by pinkpanther, Female, 29-35, Internet / New Media

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I've had a coworker like that before. I usually felt "trapped" by her because she would go on and on, without a break in the conversation. In the end I would have to be rude and interrupt her: "Sorry to cut you short but I have to go make a call." Good luck, just cut her off before she has the chance.

- Response by sweetiebug01, Female, 36-45, Who Cares?

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