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What happens when you get pregnant by a married man?
Family & Relationships / 1:25 AM - Saturday December 12, 2009

what happens when you get pregnant by a married man?

what happens when u get pregnant by a married man? do you have to give the baby his last name? i know that would be a huge surprise to his wife when she reads that in the newspaper birth sections. can't you just give the baby your last name? i would think you could if your not looking for child support. can he be listed on the birth certicate without the wife finding out? and if you did want child support, does the child have to have his last name? how does all this work? no negative or mean answers please, this is serious. i want to have a child and it just happenned. thank you

- Asked by Female, 36-45

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He has no choice. Its whatever you choose. Try not to become his worst enemy if your one of those types who want total control. You both made this happen and it happens a lot and it ruins a lot of peoples social and mental life if not dealt with on a realist mature level. If he is a clown and acts a fool towards your decisions then he is in the wrong while you still should get what the child deserves. He may sign his right away just to let you know he has that option.

- Response by diglebe2, A Guy Critical, Male, 36-45, Self-Employed

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You can give the child your last name. If he signs the birth certificate his name will most likely be published in the newspaper but that is his problem as is his wife is too. If you're not looking for child support best thing would be for him to either sign over his rights when the baby is born or not have him sign the certificate, but why shouldn't he? You didn't lie down and make this baby on your own and the expense is more than you assume. He shouldn't be impregnating other women if he doesn't want his wife to know. You have your fault in it and so should he. He is stupid and deserves what he gets. Poor wife.


- Response by Female, 29-35

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you can put any name you want on the Birth Certificate.... His wife will find out anyway.... one way or another...they always do. Either way....make him pay up...Child Support helps.... and kids are expensive...If you dont need his money...put those Child support checks into a College account

- Response by boxer1, A Guy Critical, Male, 36-45, Self-Employed

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You can call the child Colemans Mustard if you so wish but daddy,s name would be cute

- Response by duggers, A Guy Critical, Male, 66 or older

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Its legit to give your child your last name.

If you want nothing from the father, you just go on about your life, raising that child as a single parent.

If you do want something from the father, and don't want the wife to know...good luck with that. :(

- Response by mamom04, Female, 56-65, Phoenix

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I would first talk it over with the father to be then with an attorney. Each state is different in what rights you have and don't have.

- Response by barbb, Female, Who Cares?, Other Profession

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An illegitimate child can have any name you wish.

- Response by Female, 29-35

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1. You can call your baby whatever you want
2. To provide child support all that baby needs is some of his daddy's DNA
3. And yes, if you name him, chances are he can claim the baby; it will get published, and his wife probably already knows. Most women aren't as stupid to think otherwise.

- Response by lioness21, Female, 29-35, Consulting

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Give the child your last name. Better for your child if you and your babay has the same last name. And then file for child support. Chances are his wife will find out anyway eventually, but thye info doesn't have to come from you. He might feel forced to tell her, but that's his cross to bear. He knew what he was doing when he took you to bed and now he has to do right by his child and you, even though he is married. His IS by law obligated to pay child support.

- Response by silver75, Female, 36-45, Stockholm, Other Profession

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Child does nt have to hv his last name even for child support n it hlps to place him on birth cirtificate to gt child support. if u need to know aythin else just send me a message

- Response by julzmom, Female, 46-55, Kansas City, Home Maker

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If you were knowingly having sex with a married man you are more or less alone in this now

- Response by bigcurt, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, 56-65, Pittsburgh, Self-Employed

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Each state's laws in that regard are different, so you should check with a family law attorney in your state. Here in California a father cannot sign away his parental rights just because he doesn't want to be responsible! THere must be someone ready to assume them, like an adoptive father or some other relative. The birth father signs his rights OVER to that person.

If you don't want anything from the father, then put your name and where it says father you can put "not named" on the birth certificate. Looks better than "unknown"

- Response by msheartbeat, Female, 36-45, San Francisco, Self-Employed

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You don't have to give the child his last name but if he does want to be a part of the child's life, he may want to put his name on the Birth Certificate and that is totally your choice, if you want him to or not...if you give the baby your last name, the birth announcements will only put your name as his mother and won't put the father's name unless his name is on the birth certificate so that is something you will have to decide...and if you want child support, I imagine that the wife will find out and it will probably end up either breaking up the marriage or him denying he had any contact with you...but when/if a person goes for child support and the other parent is denying paternity, then the courts will request a DNA and then the truth comes out and he will have to pay...:D

- Response by fastball, Female, 36-45, Edmonton, Self-Employed

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i am in the same situation you are unfortunatly i did not know till righ tbefore i found out i was pregnant that he was a marrie dman but anywyas my son has my last name it is my choice of whose last name i give my child i went back and forht with it while pregnant and am 110% glad my son has my last name not his. so what if his wife finds out its his problem really not your if he was so worried about it he shouldnt have been unfaithfult o his wife.

- Response by angelbby1110, A New Mom, Female, 29-35, Rochester, Student

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I feel sorry for this kid. I really do. It shouldn't have happened to begin with. How would you feel if you were in her shoes? Awful right? Married men are always off limits. Didn't you mama teach you better than that? UGH.

- Response by misskitty420, Female, 29-35, Student

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First of all, it's a shame you as a woman slept with a married man. There are tonnes of single men but you chose him to be your baby's father. You must be a very desperate woman. Not your fault, may be, your parents forgot to teach you some values of life or may be, you as a woman don't have any values. He is a very cheap husband too for lying with a woman like you even if he is married. Shame on both of you, suckers.

- Response by A Single Gal, Female, 29-35

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