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I can't stop thinking about him - and i need to know if he's thinking about me too...
Dating / 7:49 PM - Monday November 16, 2009

i can't stop thinking about him - and i need to know if he's thinking about me too...

i have known this guy since june. since then, he has become one of my best friends. we are together all the time, hanging out and everything. he makes me laugh and smile and i absolutely love being around him. there isnt a day that goes by that i dont think about him. i havent liked someone this much in a really, really long time.

but i have no idea how he feels about me. there are times when we are together and we hold hands. we flirt all the time. but he has yet to tell me how he feels at all. he is a very shy person, so some months ago i told him how i felt. he said he wanted to stay friends then, but since then i really feel that things have changed for him. he hasnt made a move at all yet, but i do believe he is scared - he hasnt ever had a girlfriend or even kissed many girls at all. i'm just wondering how i can get him to admit how he feels, or to make a move or something. should i say something, even though i already put myself out there once? should i make the first move? i want to know once and for all where this is going, because it's driving me crazy thinking about him 24/7. i need to know if he's thinking about me in that way too...

- Asked by Female, 22-25

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Telling is not such a good idea. It creates a situation where either 1) an awkward attempt at a first kiss, or 2) saying you just want to stay friends are just about the only way out, since more telling would just make matters more awkward.
I will give a very simple rule: unless you are physically repellent to him (and the rest of the male sex), he is interested. Men don't really do the "I don't feel that way about you" thing. That is much more a woman thing. So I will leave it to you to judge whether you still have a chance or not. I bet you do.

- Response by unluckyloveatfirstsighter, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 56-65, Artist / Musician / Writer

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If you put yourself out there once more, do you think he'll run--that he'll stop being your friend? I don't think so -- not from the way you've described your relationship. Maybe you could say something like, "I told you some months ago how I feel about you. My feelings haven't changed. I hope that, if you ever feel the same way about me, you'll tell me. Nothing would make me happier." That's pretty generic; you're not asking him how he feels but asking if he'll tell you "someday." I think it would be okay to kiss him in a casual way if it's appropriate, or give him a hug. I think he needs to know that you understand his shyness and that you will accept his shyness as part of him -- and not push him.

- Response by Female, 56-65

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He told you he wanted to stay friends. I would accept that he meant that.

It sounds like you spend a lot of time together. If you have feelings for him that aren't reciprocated, it would be best to spend more time apart. You need to be able to move on and find someone who feels the same way about you as you do them.

- Response by myndseye711, A New Mom, Female, 29-35, Managerial

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