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What to do if family member ignores you?
Family & Relationships / 4:27 PM - Monday October 19, 2009

What to do if family member ignores you?

I have a relative who I've never spent much time with (lives in a different state.)

But last year, he had a big family reunion. I was unable to go because of work, but most of our relatives went. Since I couldn't attend, I sent him a nice letter giving my regrets. Never heard back.

This year, I had a big b-day party and sent him an invite, but no response (no RSVP nor b-day card.)

This hurts my feelings, for some reason, being ignored when I make multiple efforts to at least contact him.

I am trying to forgive and just "get over it" and move on, but it's hard to get over the hurt feelings, for some reason.

Should I plan to just cut him out of my thoughts forever and if I see him in the future stay very (emotionally) distant to protect myself from further hurt, or???

I feel I would be a fool to make a third effort, unless he did first, but I hate that it has to be this way.




- Asked by Female, 29-35

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Don't assume so much. I wouldn't have responded to your first note either. On the invitation, perhaps he didn't get it. How about calling to double check and to say how much you'd like him to be there.

- Response by cubbiegal, Female, 46-55, Chicago, Administrative

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maybe your relative is just inconsiderate in general. Maybe it has nothing to do with you. Stop worrying about it and just know that you're the better person because you made the effort.

- Response by cherryorlemon, Female, 29-35

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If I'm having a big party with tons of RSVP's, I'm not going to have time to respond to each and every regret. I'm not sure why you feel he's supposed to do that.
In terms of your post, well you say you've never spent much time with him, so I'm not really sure why this hurts you so much.

- Response by lmarks, A Life of the Party, Male, 29-35, Los Angeles, Who Cares?

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