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The ex-husband from hell....
Family & Relationships / 12:03 PM - Sunday April 26, 2009

The ex-husband from hell....

I am getting married in June and moving to another CITY and my ex-husband is acting like a monster!!!!He is sending me threatening letters and making harrassing phone calls saying he will ruin me in court if I take his son away. Yet he refuses to meet me half way for visitation and won't pay child support. My lawyer says to take him to court for contempt but if I do that he will be arrested. I hate to do that because he has been a good father and I know he is just freaking out.

Here's the question....

How much time should I give him to complete his nervous breakdown? This is really wearing thin on me, my fiance and my son.

Update: April 26, 2009.
Thank you for your responses. Let me clarify: My ex husband WAS an EXCELLENT father unitil I announced I was getting married in December 2008 We have joint custody and he sees my son all the time He SAYS he won't meet me half way or pay child support WHEN I MOVE It is the threatening and harrassment that is wearing us all thin.

- Asked by kcsmom, Female, 46-55

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Sweetie, call his sorry ass up and calmly say....do you realize that if you persist - you can end up in jail for your behavior? now, why don't you calm down and let's work this out like rational and reasonable adults? You need to straighten him out NOW...he is trying to use his emotions to undermine you because he wants what he wants but he is acting like a baby. Talk to him...let him vent but tell him the behavior must stop and that you have been very compassionate and ARE compassionate but that you WILL take legal action if he doesn't stop this nonsense now!! Good luck sugar! I'm sorry you have deal with such craziness! Wow and you're already with a new fiance! How do people accomplish this feat? lol Take care!

- Response by psfrannie, Female, Who Cares?, Los Angeles, Medical / Dental

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Have your lawyer send him a notice to stop is adolescent behavior and explain your patience or you will lower the boom!

Then the ball will be in his court!

- Response by rafiki910, A Mr. Nice Guy, Male, Who Cares?, Boston, Body Work

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WHO has custody of the child?
If ur ex wants to see his son, then he needs to start acting like a grown up & pay support for him...I'm sure he's freakin out & went he calms down he'll realize that he actually has NO say in the matter. I think ur a very nice ex for even considering his feelings..

- Response by spitfire815, Female, 56-65, Who Cares?

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Won't pay child support? That isn't optional.

Reassure him that he will still get plenty of time with his son, and follow through. Let your son spend a lot of time with him, if he's a reasonbly healthy role model. It'll be good for your son, good for your ex-husband, and good for your new marriage.

- Response by myowntwofeet, Female, 46-55, Los Angeles, Other Profession

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Yay for you. Boo for him. As I have said to others. You are a black woman. Handle your bizniz. Don't worry about or for him. Take him to court. If he agrees to a payment plan they won't jail him. The only way they will is if he shows his ass in court. And if he does that's not on you.

I'm happy you met a good man. Now finish it with the old one and move on with your new life.

Good luck gf.

- Response by llafsroh, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 46-55, Boston, Science / Engineering

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I'm still stuck on the part where he won't pay child support or meet you half way BUT is still a good father. And this is good for his son? What am I missing here? Plus now he acts like a stalker..

- Response by solstess, Female, 46-55, Detroit, Artist / Musician / Writer

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A great father? A great father doesn't threaten and harass the mother of his child the way you've described. Not only would I do what was necessary in court. I'd get a restraining order for his harassment. You shouldn't have to live that way. And, what he does to you affects his child. Because, a nervous breakdown isn't going to help your son. How can he be a good father being bitter and uncooperative? Why isn't he paying child support. If he truly cared and did what he was supposed to do, this wouldn't even be an issues. He's vindictive and angry. Therefore, he's trying to make you miserable. How does this help you son? He's pissed that you've moved on with your life. But, that's his problem.

I'd do what was necessary in court. And, I'd warn him about his threats and harassment. If he didn't stop, I would have no problem taking this to the authorities. Don't allow this man to make your new life a strained and miserable one. None of this is good for this child. I don't care how much you try to keep him out of it. Eventually, it will have an effect. Please stop dealing with him. If he's not being cooperative it will be his own fault if his relationship with his son deteriorates. He need to grow up! Anyway, good luck to you all in this horrible situation.

- Response by thelovedovefor1, Female, 46-55, Atlanta, Who Cares?

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Your ex husband is not a good man or else he wold be supporting his child. Take him to court and sue him for child support for your son and also makes sure you have sole custody. This man is a dog . Rosey

- Response by roseytalks, Female, Who Cares?, Tampa, Who Cares?

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I am going to say this with respect, but am going to be blunt, okay? STOP BEING SO F'ING STUPID!

Heres why I say that: You say he sends you threatenign letters and making harassing phone calls, refuses to meet you half way for visitation and won't pay child support, but then you say that he has been a good father.

That doesn't make sense! Would a "good father" do all of that or would a "good father" be willing to work with his child's mother for what is best for the child?

He is being an asshole and needs to be repremanded for his asshole actions. Do what you need to do for your child and for your future.


- Response by ecgjyt, A Mr. Married Guy, Male, 36-45, Medical / Dental

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Obviously he is deranged and his behavior hurts the one person who loves him unconditionally, your son. Unless it states in the divorce decree you can not move to another state then the only way he will be able to change that is to take you back to court. The probability of that that is slim to none. In the state of Alabama child support payments are handled through the state and garnished from the parent's payroll check. Of course, being self employed is another thing...

- Response by msgg, Female, 36-45, Managerial

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Time to call your lawyer and the cops. He's NOT a good man if he's giving you hell, and it's backwashing over your son.

- Response by myrtletyrtle, Female, 46-55, Who Cares?

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