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FWB 101...........................................
Sex & Intimacy / 9:03 PM - Tuesday August 30, 2005

FWB 101.................... .......................

FWB, friend with benefits (friend you have sex with)…

I had never even heard the term until I logged on to Answerology. Help me understand the fwb concept better.

When did this phenomenon start? Are there basic ground rules, and, if yes, what are they? Can one make friends with a new person simply for the potential benefits? Is it proper to have more than one fwb at a time? Does one disclose to others s/he has a fwb? Can you only have a fwb if you do not have a s/o (significant other—spouse, betrothed, girl/boyfriend)? Does a fwb ever become a s/o? Do fwb ever quit one aspect, but remain involved in the other (friends, sex partners)? How do you tell a friend you’d like to share benefits? Do some friends of the same sex have a common friend of the opposite sex with whom they both derive benefits?

Do you or have you ever had a fwb? Fess up, now…

I want to learn more about this subject. Does anybody want to be my friend?

- Asked by A Guy Critical, Female, Who Cares?, Seattle, Political / Government

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i want to be your friend..wow you have a lot of fwb q's..fwb's are usually no strings attached..some times feelings can develop b/w fwb's..yes u can have more than 1

- Response by chiguy04, A Creative, Male, 29-35

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Its a bad idea. I have nver had a FWB... i think that to be having sex you should be in a comitted relationship that you know is not going to vanish anytime soon. Its best to not bother with it, all it does is complicate life and give no benefit.

- Response by anonymous312, An Intellectual Guy, Male, 29-35, New York, Self-Employed

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I'm not sure when this whole thing started, but it has become incresingly common in the last couple of years. Either that, or it has become more talked about. Yes, I think a lot of people meet other and then keep them around for potential benefits that they might later recieve. There are no set ground rules, just like with real relationships, each fwb couple sets their own boundaries. Because of that, it may or may not be okay to have more than one (usually it is, there's no strings - that's kind of the point). It is never okay to have one if you're otherwise spoken for, cheating is cheating, no matter what arrangement you have outside of your relationship. There are infinate variations of this arrangement, so the answer to the rest of your questions could be yes or no.

In my opinion, they're not a good idea. All they do is stop you from finding a meaningful relationship (because they're easy). Also, one person tends to end up wanting more, while the other one doesn't, and it ends messily. I'm sure that some fwb go on to become bf/gf, but not many. I would skip it, if I were you. Speaking from personal experience, they're not worth it. Good luck!

- Response by blythe, Female, 26-28, Philadelphia, Political / Government

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I don't exactly know when this started but it has been around for years. The basic ground rules are have fun together, explore and don't get mad when he or she finds someone they are wanting a relationship with, that is what fwb is about. You can be friends with benefits with anyone you know or meet. I don't believe it is bad to have more than one fwb. It is up to both of you to state it to the world but most keep it under wraps. You can have a friend with benefits whenever you want, but when you do have a significant other it is still called cheating. I have had a few fwb and it never has became more than that for us, but emotions do sometimes get involved so watch out. The way they have started with me is it just leads to it you never just state what you are it just happens.

- Response by playfulniki21, Female, 18-21, Atlanta, Who Cares?

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well, i can talk out of experience.. i have a fwb... there are some rules, like no strings attached, we can still date other people, and if that doesnt work out we still have somebody to share more than just a friendship... however, when in a relationship, i did stop having sex with my fwb, out of respect for my partner.. and about becoming something more, yes of course it can happen but rarely ever does, because most people like that tend to be friends before anything happens and if they didnt date, i dont think they would go up for it after it.

- Response by venegirl87, Female, 26-28, Student

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It depends on the man, really. I've found that men who are naturally just into them themselves, selfish, are that way if they are in a GF/BF kind of relationship or a FWB one. Those kind will most likely think of a FWB as a f*ck-you-only kind of relationship (99% of the time). However, if a man is more open and genuinely cares about others, he may start off as a FWB and since minds do change it could continue into something else. Men aren't sure of what they want, until time passes and they have time to form an opinion based on what they have experienced or seen. Don't be fooled, because men do know what they do NOT want the minute they see it. If he's still with you, even as a FWB, then be assured so far he's still into you (even if it's on a FWB level). I'd say that as long as you are carrying on a true friendship and not just a wham-bam-thank-you-mam kind of one, then there is a 50-50 chance that anything can happen.

- Response by A Single Gal, Female, 29-35

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